Monday, November 27, 2017

IS MARRIAGE IS THE SOLUTION OR DEATH OF ASPIRATION


Freedom of women is based on education and earning power. Being dependent is no longer an option. Even a household wife has a capacity to earn and make a decent living for his family. But it’s easier said than done. The society is still struggling with weak mindset even within well-educated families or life partners.  My wife should not work after marriage. This is one of the most killing statements before at the time of marriages. We cannot think of women independence unless we find the society where girls birth ends up with throwing them in the dustbin. Yes, this is the country where we are still discussing women empowerment.

In India, we find that even if the bride family accepts that the bridegrooms request and just looks for the opportunity after marriage to kill the aspiration of the bride either through restrictions and torture or through getting them early pregnant. Yes, this is the fatal fate of the Indian women.  Don’t get to the conclusion that this story is prevalent in Rural India and not in Urban India. In fact, Urban India is the roadmap for the rural India in terms of women restriction and killing of aspiration.

The value of education towards getting freedom in later life has not been fully recognized. One of my friend born and bought up in Mumbai faces a similar life story where due to the restriction of higher education and more focus on marriage lead her still now struggling in the career. Thanks to the God for keeping the fire of aspiration alive and finally she has made a route to getting an MBA degree very soon. Aspiration is the most important part of one's life. Families of girls need to understand that getting married and having a family is not the end or neither the prime agenda of life.

I knew gentlemen called Mr. Siddhartha Sen Ex-director of ICWAI research wing. He was asked one day by one of his friends that when he is getting his two daughters married. The revert I still remember and keep on repeating the same among others also that giving education and getting the daughters well established is the key and prime agenda of life and not getting them married. Marriage they can decide on their own. A revert by an educated father keeping the long-term horizon in mind. The point is that education mere cannot be on books or papers or certificates. The family thought the process needs to be educated enough to give a clear vision of where they want to get their daughters to the forefront.

 Women empowerment cannot happen unless we are empowered to think independently and capable enough to foresee the long-term journey and growth of girls within the society.  An independent aspiration and thinking ability should prevail in a family before we get into the story of women empowerment. We are not at all empowered in our thinking process and that’s why we are struggling with getting women empowered.

Marriage has been a devastation for the Indian society over the last century since we all know that from Iswar Chandra Vidyasagar to Raja Rammohan Roy all fought for the women independence from the tyranny of the society.  Education within society has never been in there and that the prime reason why we are all still ignorant.

Those who are fearful about the changes of the society would always restrict and destroy the growth of knowledge within the society. Settling for less is not the option. Development of the society cannot be done by males. It lies with women only. In one of my colleague family called Vishal Shah I found that there have been always been a war at home between his wife and mother since the wife earned more than the husband and they mother in law wanted a share of the same earning. Independence is capped at every step. This the place where I say that not men but women need to be more educated and they can only bring change. I don’t know how many of you will agree but I open the forum for your debate.

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